CHOCOLATE!?!?!!!

Our Story

Two friends. One wagon.

A reasonable amount of screaming.

Origin

How it started

It started, as all great companies do, with two best friends and the phrase "let's get rich." One was a baker. The other was a believer. Neither had a business plan. Both had a wagon.

They knocked on doors. They handed over warm bars. They were chased, exactly once, by a customer who really, really liked chocolate. The rest is candy history.

The Incident

The Great Shortage

For decades, every bar was assembled by hand and sold one stoop at a time. This worked beautifully — until somebody screamed about it so loud that demand outpaced supply for an entire fiscal quarter.

We've since invested in a slightly larger wagon. Production is back online. The shortage is over. The screaming, however, is permanent.

The Process

How a bar gets made

  1. Step 1 — Source. Cocoa is harvested from a single coastal cove. One harvest, one crop, one stubborn opinion about flavor.
  2. Step 2 — Roast. Slow-roasted in small drums until the kitchen smells, in our experience, exactly like the inside of a good day.
  3. Step 3 — Wrap. Each bar gets our signature yellow-and-twin-tone paper, hand-pressed and stamped by humans who care if the corners line up.
  4. Step 4 — Test. A panel yells at the bar. If the bar does not flinch, it ships. (Yes, we know how that sounds.)
  5. Step 5 — Deliver. Door-to-door, in small batches. We ring the bell. You scream. We scream. Everyone scores.

House Rules

What we believe

Enthusiasm: if you're not yelling, you're not selling. (Quietly enjoying a bar is also great. We accept that too.)

Persistence: we will knock on the same door six times. The seventh time, we'll bring a wagon.

Restraint: a single bar a day, sometimes two. We make less than we sell on purpose. The shortage is the brand.

Friendship: every bar we sell is jointly endorsed by both founders. Not legally. Just emotionally.

FAQ

Things we get asked at the door

Do you actually scream at the chocolate?

Yes. It's part of QA. Bars are sensitive — silent ones are usually hiding something.

Why is everything yellow, red, and purple?

Because that's what the wrapper looks like. We didn't pick the colors so much as the colors picked us.

Can I buy more than one Mega Stack?

Yes, but the wagon has feelings about it. Limit five per household. Or twelve. We're flexible.

Do you ship?

We hand-deliver locally. Outside the cove, we ship in insulated kraft mailers a few times a week. Nothing leaves the kitchen unless it's snapping cold.

Is there a way to be notified of new batches?

Yes — drop your email on the home page. One message per batch. Never more.